This weekend sees the end of March Madness, the NCAA men’s basketball championship tournament.  From now until the final game is played on April 3, film crews will be capturing the most memorable moments – from the joyous to the heartbreaking – to craft into a video montage played at the end of the tournament over one of the most recognizable songs associated with college sports: David Barrett’s “One Shining Moment.”

The Championship games represent the final opportunities this year for these athletes to take a run at the work they love and have poured themselves into for years.  For some of them, it will also be their final time on the court.

Those who are graduating or not returning to the sport the following year will wake up on the morning of April 4 to grapple with some of the same questions about identity, purpose and belonging that the founders of businesses face when they sell their company and step off the court on which they, too, have been playing for years.

I wonder how many coaches and parents and fans are prepared to walk alongside those athletes as they find their new place in the world when March Madness ends?   Who will take that walk with you?

Retirement begins to loom over everyone once they reach a certain age. For athletes, that age typically comes much sooner than for the rest of us.

At some point, Father Time forces every one of us to make a decision: Go out on top, or try to hang on as long as possible. I’m sure you can name some of those athletes who chose the second path and tried to stick around past their expiration dates and saw their legacies take a hit.

Ask any rookie or mid-career athlete what their long-term goal is and they’ll likely tell you it’s to keep playing sports. No one wants to imagine their career coming to an end.

But here’s the thing: It will end eventually. It’s inevitable. And it could come sooner than they think if they’re injured, aged-out of their program, or simply get sick of the daily grind.

The same is true for every business owner.  Although I often hear clients say “I just love being ‘in the game,’” the reality is that, at some point, like every athlete you will leave your business – voluntarily or involuntarily.

So, ask yourself: What do you want to do when your run is over?  When it’s time to step off the court?

Do you want to head into early retirement? Drum up a second career? Or are you aiming to be like those old codgers who try to ignore the fans shouting from the stands “Retire Already!  Hang it Up, Old Man!” Really think about the answer, and then write down anything that come to mind. Your biggest successes may actually come after you exit the game.

Preparing for Retirement is Like Prepping for the Final Game of the Season

Think of retirement as the biggest game of the season. Retirement is a culmination of all the blood, sweat and tears you’ve put into honing your craft. It’s where all the hard work pays off.

But instead of having one season to prepare for the big game (your life after retirement), you have your entire career. There are no do-overs or resets. What you give is what you get.

With this in mind, it’s critical to put a game plan in place now that details how to set yourself up to live the life you want on the other side of the sale of your business.

It’s easy to think the score is marked just by the numbers in your account, or the size of the transaction upon your exit.  But, like the best athletes know, preparing well to transition into life’s next season with confidence and clarity and team mates you want to play with takes some special training.

It’s up to you what scenes are playing in the montage of your life.

Let’s get the conversation started.

The post In One Shining Moment 2023 appeared first on Denise Logan.

If we can’t step away from our jobs temporarily, how can we encourage our clients to step away from their jobs completely?

Even if it’s just for a few days, being away from your work can give you a glimpse into the future experience of your client who is facing retirement. You can put yourself in their shoes and empathize more deeply with the worry and stress they are feeling about being away from what has been such an important part of their life – work.

Let me challenge you – just for this holiday weekend – try it. Here are some tips:

Put your out of office message on, and live up to it – unplug. Turn your phone off and put it in a drawer. Tune in to the people you care about and the experiences you’re involved in. Don’t numb out by looking at email or scrolling through social media. Experience your life and the places in the day where you feel the pull of your phone to stave off boredom or uncertainty or to buffer difficult conversations with others.

Notice the excuses that come into your mind to keep you from doing this:

“My kids might need me.”

“I have a deal in the works.”

“How will I know what time the movie starts if I’m not looking it up on my phone.”

“Just a peek to check the right way to hard boil an egg or that recipe for a perfect …”

“I’m just clearing those emails out so I won’t be overwhelmed after the long weekend.”

Yes, I’m outing myself in these statements! I’ve thought of versions of each of them for myself.

Admit it, you have your own version of these “excuses” to stay plugged into work or your device, instead of plugged into your family or the moment you are actually in. And so does your client – in fact, it’s a big part of what keeps them from being willing to step toward exiting their business or retiring. In essence, each of these excuses are elements of FOMO (fear of missing out, for those of you who’ve never seen that abbreviation before!) and are indicative of how much you will struggle when it’s time to let go into your own exit or retirement.

Become the kind of Trusted Advisor your clients really need – one who has faced his or her own fears about these issues so you can accompany them through these very real and very normal elements of their transition.

You’re already a skilled professional, steeped in the transactional elements – now it’s time to get dialed into the very real emotional experience of the transition they are undergoing. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk, friends! That’s what will help you separate yourself from the hordes of other professionals who you’re competing with – the nuanced skills you bring that help create comfort for your client, so they can tell you what they’re really struggling with – and you can help them find solutions.

Every weekend I take a 36 hour “electronic pause” – either Friday evening to Sunday morning or Saturday evening to Monday morning – I unplug completely. No phone, no tablet, no Kindle, no computer, no tv. It helps me notice all the dozens of times my brain tries to trick me into using a device, instead of being present with the people and experiences in front of me. It also helps me to notice areas of my life where I can grow – other than my work.

It’s taken me time to develop the discipline to stick with this and I challenge clients to do a modified version of this as they begin to prepare for their exit. And, yes, every one of them resists doing this!

In one part of my book, The Seller’s Journey, the characters have to put their devices in a lock box before they head out onto the glacier. One of them has a big ol’ meltdown being separated from his device. It’s a metaphor for what our clients will face when no one is calling them on the other side of their exit.

Many of our clients haven’t even finished a full round of golf in years because they are interrupted with something “urgent” from the office. Many of you haven’t had a fully unplugged vacation – or even an uninterrupted meal! – in years either. My own experience with this practice of unplugging helps me to stay compassionate with clients’ struggles on the journey of transition away from their business and into their own version of “What’s Next?” My own experience with it helps me reassure them that the feelings they are experiencing are normal and there are solutions other than just delaying their exit or retirement.

Will you join me this holiday weekend in giving it a try? You might not go the entire weekend unplugged like I will, but even a couple hours will give you a profound experience of what your client might be feeling and allow you to help them get ready when they are worrying about falling into a Black Hole on the other side of their exit.

Let me know what you learn from your experiment with this.

The post Challenging You to Unplug appeared first on Denise Logan.

“Don’t let them know you are selling.”

I’m paraphrasing the actual post to keep the advisor anonymous, but the advice hit me in the stomach, and made me think back to my own exit. It was a crazy time, and I just needed advisors around me that I could trust…

Advisors that would point me in the right direction on the big things, while also helping me keep track of the little things. Telling my employees, partners, and even potential buyers the details of our impending sale was one of those big things.

It’s easy for us to automatically default to the, “Keep things as normal as you can and don’t tell a soul,” advice. After all, the slightest errant comment or “leak” could derail any deal… right?

We’re all guilty. Bankers, brokers, and lawyers tell our owners, “Keep it a secret or your people will leave, or your competition will take advantage, or let’s just not talk about THOSE numbers.”

I’m afraid our LinkedIn-posting-advisor (and our entire industry) has been doing it wrong

Look, I’m not clueless about the financial implications of not having a deal close. I get it, the entire deal team and all its players have time, money, and resources at stake in getting this thing across the finish line. But, lying (or failing to disclose) doesn’t work as well as one might think.

When we advise our business owners or buyers to lie, bend the truth, or fail to disclose, we’re letting our own fear run the show. We tell our clients it’s OK to sneak around, show the business in the dark after hours, get their bookkeeper to create reports under a false pretense, and create stories when key employees ask, “Are you selling?”

“Well, any business is always for sale at the right price.” Deflect. Lie. Deflect. Avoid. Lie. Deflect again.

Aren’t we exhausted just thinking about doing it this way? Do we really think it’s sustainable for us to keep up with these shenanigans? Employees always find out. The bookkeeping antics always shake out at the end of the deal. Our own conscience takes a hit.

Selling a business has enough complexity already. It requires everyone on the deal team to stay emotionally grounded, well-rested and in touch with their values. Adding in the wholly unnecessary drama that comes with concealing, lying, hiding information, and remembering what lie was told to whom makes it harder (not easier) for everyone to make good and timely decisions.

In fact, our bodies are hardwired to hit ‘pause’ when we sense deception in the work we’re doing.

Ever have a secret you’re withholding from someone? Even something as innocuous as a surprise party is enough to put us on edge… Our brain goes on high alert as the concealment gets deeper: “What was THAT look? Does she know? Be careful. Don’t say the wrong thing!”

That nervousness comes from our amygdala – the ancient tool in our brain that’s actively working to keep us safe. It helped our ancestors recognize when there was danger in our environment.

Unfortunately, the subconscious meandering of the amygdala also eats up mental, emotional, and physical bandwidth, making it difficult for our bodies to give resources to our “thinking brain.” Meanwhile, the to-be-surprised-person is also noticing your weirdness…and it’s tripping THEIR amygdala! “Hmm…so and so is acting weird,” or, “That answer doesn’t make sense,” leading them to pry even more. Next thing you know, both people are suspicious of each other…and we hesitate.

Sound familiar? Subconsciously, everyone involved in the deal process is feeling a certain level of fear. It only gets worse as we get further from the truth. That fear slows things down!

More importantly, I think we tend to forget that the way we do deals leaves an imprint on us, our clients, our deal partners, and the employees who are affected by the sale.

Employees are not pieces of equipment to be sold. They’re human beings who have helped build the business. The employee who gets duped by a lying owner carries that heightened suspicion into their future as well. It’s a vicious cycle driven by fear, and it ripples out into our lives. How ‘safe’ does the buyer really feel when he hears, “No – my employees don’t know yet.” Isn’t the buyer also thinking, “If you’ll lie to the people you’ve worked with for years (and allegedly care for), how can I trust you as a stranger buying a business from you?”

An owner will halt a sale because the buyer’s culture doesn’t align, or he doesn’t trust that they’ll take care of his employees…and yet, we stand idle while that same owner omits information (or lies entirely) to his team pre-sale. Is it possible that slamming the brakes on the deal is just the owner’s conscience springing things back in order because he knows it’s wrong to hide all of this from his team?

What happened to incentivizing our people and making them part of the selling process, so they have agency about their lives? And where does it stop? Will we also conceal buyer info and “ask for forgiveness later”? Will the owner or broker like it when they discover that the buyer also “protected them from the truth” about something on their side?

Let’s stop the madness. Bring back honesty, integrity, and humanity to the deal process.

Advisors – Be that safe, trustworthy, emotionally grounded guide of integrity for your clients and deal partners. Stop letting your fear run the deal and drive chaos for everyone else in it. Return our professions to the noble standing they deserve. Stop normalizing lying and deception and excusing the harm it causes.

Owners – Yes you want to sell your business, but you don’t have to ignore your moral compass and become a liar to do so. Choose advisors who are grounded in honesty and in their own emotional safety to help you stay settled through your sale so you can make good decisions AND feel good about yourself on the other side.

The post Don’t Let Deception Derail Your Deals appeared first on Denise Logan.

The callous use of a common phrase in someone else’s blog post shocked me.

The writer used the common acronym “ROI”.

But he couched it as “Relief on Investment” in describing how to choose a charity to support victims of Tropical Storm Harvey, which at the time had just devastated south Texas.

My anger flared.

How the hell did we just equate relief of people’s suffering with an investment philosophy?  Yes, money matters.  But is it what matters most?

Hurricane Harvey was a devastating 2017 storm that battered Texas. When we watched the news and social media feeds coming out of Houston, many of us were alternating between pangs of grief, guilt and gratitude.  Gratitude that we were watching from a distance, safely ensconced in our dry homes with our children and belongings surrounding us.  Grief as we witnessed the suffering of those being plucked from the still roiling waters, their faces contorted with pain and loss and confusion.  And guilt as we tried to discern how we can help.

Our hearts broke as we watched others suffer.  We felt lost and wondered how we could best help.  Should we send money? Dry socks? Food items?

Many of us experience that same sense of helplessness and have reached out to the people closest to us in acts of localized kindness as we’ve witnessed tragedies across the globe – the tsunamis, earthquakes, terror bombings…wars.

We change our Facebook profile pictures to show our solidarity with victims of distant tragedies, we open our wallets to aid organizations.  We even travel across the country to cheer for Batman as he transforms an ordinary city into Gotham City to fulfill a final wish for a cancer-stricken child.

We are wired for empathy…Even if the situation feels impossible. But the “ROI” of helping? Isn’t the “return” intrinsic?

The blog post that angered me spoke about how we should measure the value of our charitable contributions. The post’s author is a good guy, he just got caught up in using the wrong benchmarks of success.  Of course, money matters and it’s important.  But, as Harvey helped us see, when tragedy strikes, the metrics that matter are the ones that reflect where we regularly invest .

Kindness is what matters and it’s always there, ready to be shared.

Small investment, big return.  When you benchmark your ROI against it every day, you’ll find it heralds a success greater than any other you might have thought you were chasing.

This got me thinking about how we can invest in our clients that we work with. How can we invest in our clients and make a meaningful impact in their life? How do we measure the return on investment in these relationships?

When I zoom back to my business, and to the advisors I work with, the ROI always seems better when there is respect and trust on both sides of the deal table.very deal, there is a moment where the parties either trust each other or everything falls apart. What if you could set up the dynamic, where everyone already has the foundation of a trusting relationship to draw upon?  What if kindness, caring, and building the relationship was what mattered?

Tragedy or not, let’s get to know each other better. Let’s spend meaningful time with our clients and within our circles of influence. I always say “we need to put the “relationship” back in “CRM”. Maybe it’s time we change up that first “R” in “ROI” too.

The post Putting the “R” Back in ROI appeared first on Denise Logan.

Last week I was listening to a great story on NPR about whether Founder CEOs have a shelf life.

It focused on the concept of transition as the Co-Founder of Peloton John Foley stepped down as CEO, and moved into the role of Executive Chairman. Foley led Peloton through its entire ten year existence and will be replaced by former Spotify CFO Barry McCarthy.

The story points out other cautionary tales of massively successful retail brands, like FitBit and GoPro, that both turned down opportunities to sell, because their founder wasn’t ready to let go. Eventually, FitBit sold to Google, but only after it lost market share to competitors like Apple, while GoPro went public only to see its share price become a third of what it was.

It made me think about what so many of our clients face when the founder hangs on too long, trying to keep leading when they should let go.

One client I worked with struggled to let go, even after having fallen ill and spending several months in a coma. While to outsiders it looked obvious that the interim leadership had successfully filled the gap left by his illness and there was no longer a role for him in the company, he struggled with the challenges of letting go when it wasn’t how he had imagined it would happen.

The very real question of “How do I let go?” isn’t one that is resolved in a single moment.  Like many significant questions in our lives, it is a process. He moved forward and then stepped back, again and again.

Listening to the NPR segment last week made me wonder and reflect about what that process had looked and felt like for Foley and for Peloton.

While the story that is presently being told about Foley’s transition makes it look like a smooth and seamless event, just a single moment of transition, it’s never quite as cut and dried as it seems.  One has to wonder how much back and forth Foley did behind the scenes that no one gets to see.  Like most founders, I wonder how he made the time to just slow down to even think about letting go, amidst all of the other responsibilities that come with running a company every day, and who his helpers were in coming to this decision.

On the surface, a founder’s reluctance to let go may seem that it’s about control, but sometimes control is what masks the bigger questions like “Who am I if I’m not the leader of this company?” “What if the company does better after I leave?” “What if the company struggles after I leave, will I be blamed?”

There are many public examples that affirm these founders’ fears. Bill Gates stepped down as CEO of Microsoft, only for co-founder Steve Ballmer to take the reigns. Unfortunately, Microsoft took a deep dive during Ballmer’s tenure as CEO, and it makes me wonder if another co-founder was the best person to take on the job of CEO. On paper, he sure seemed like the right fit, but it’s possible he was too close to the company to help provide the vision that it takes to grow. Being able to bring empathy to the unspoken fears founders struggle with as they contemplate letting go is what distinguishes you as a trusted advisor, instead of just another technician executing a transaction.

Bringing in somebody new to run a company can provide a unique advantage with a fresh influx of ideas. As companies grow, innovation is frequently what keeps the company afloat. When Microsoft was growing, their innovation was faltering, and the company took a great set back. Founders that created the company might think that they have the best ideas for the company-since the company was their idea in the first place-but we can remind our clients that sometimes innovation can also come from somebody else’s voice, with a different background and set of experiences.

Then there’s Jack Dorsey, the former CEO of Twitter who at one time was trying to be the CEO of Twitter and Square at the same time. How can we expect a founder to serve everyone well if they’re trying to do everything? As advisors, we can help our clients realize when they have spread themselves too thin. It’s common for owners to think they’re superheroes. However, it takes a trusted advisor to help them pull back when they’re overextending themselves.

It’s one thing to be a founder of a company, but it can be an entirely different thing to be a CEO and leader of a company. Our owners find out, sometimes the hard way, that they are not the ones best equipped to be in this position and it’s on us as advisors to recognize that there are a lot of feelings tied to that.

When you’re the best at one part of the job and you become CEO and then suddenly, you’re not the best at the job, how do you help them with the one identity that they have built? Sometimes they’re stuck finding that out themselves. How is it realistic to think that these people are going to come to these realizations on their own account?

Steve Jobs had to leave Apple the first time to be ready to be the leader it needed when he returned. He was a founder that found out the hard way at the time, he didn’t have the skillset the company needed to thrive. When he left, he gained more perspective and returned with a fresh vision for Apple that made it the global icon it is today.

Meanwhile, there are some leaders that have successfully managed the transition from founder to CEO. Examples like Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos come to mind, but, like NPR noted, these leaders are a rare exception.

Another client I’ve worked with has been in the process of an orderly multi-year transition out of the role of leading his company and, even with that well-thought-out and structured leaving (he, too, like the founder of Peloton, has moved into Executive Chairman role) it’s been an emotional journey.

Founders really do struggle with these questions of “When should I leave?” and “How do I let go?” They deserve the careful guidance of advisors who recognize that stepping away from something you’ve given birth to – like Foley has done with Peloton and like many of our clients will do with their companies – isn’t a one-and-done decision … it’s a process. There are so many emotions involved when they are so entrenched in their business. Their companies are their babies, the people that work there are like families, and often they think that they’re the best equipped to handle what’s happening at the company.

As I wrote in my article about the similarities between business owners and parents of college freshmen, there is an art to letting go. Much like how we need to let our children grow up, we must do the same for our businesses. If we coddled our children like we sometimes coddle our businesses, they would never be successful. They need time to grow up on their own, without their parents, and make their own way forward. As advisors, we can help our clients realize when it’s time for them to let go, before it’s too late.

The Seller’s Journey is a great tool for you to use to help your clients find when it’s time to let go. I encourage you to share it with your clients to give them an example of an owner that’s going through much of the same emotional journey they are going through. Together, we can help our clients do what is best for them and their companies, treating the process like a transition, and not just a transaction.

The post Helping Clients Know When to Let Go appeared first on Denise Logan.

The Championship games represent the final opportunities this year for these athletes to take a run at the work they love and have poured themselves into for years.  For some of them, it will also be their final time on the court.

Those who are graduating or not returning to the sport the following year will wake up on the morning of April 6 to grapple with some of the same questions about identity, purpose and belonging that the founders of businesses face when they sell their company and step off the court on which they, too, have been playing for years.

I wonder how many coaches and parents and fans are prepared to walk alongside those athletes as they find their new place in the world when March Madness ends?   Who will take that walk with you?

Retirement begins to loom over everyone once they reach a certain age. For athletes, that age typically comes much sooner than for the rest of us.

At some point, Father Time forces every one of us to make a decision: Go out on top, or try to hang on as long as possible. I’m sure you can name some of those athletes who chose the second path and tried to stick around past their expiration dates and saw their legacies take a hit.

Ask any rookie or mid-career athlete what their long-term goal is and they’ll likely tell you it’s to keep playing sports. No one wants to imagine their career coming to an end.

But here’s the thing: It will end eventually. It’s inevitable. And it could come sooner than they think if they’re injured, aged-out of their program, or simply get sick of the daily grind.

The same is true for every business owner.  Although I often hear clients say “I just love being ‘in the game,’” the reality is that, at some point, like every athlete you will leave your business – voluntarily or involuntarily.

So, ask yourself: What do you want to do when your run is over?  When it’s time to step off the court?

Do you want to head into early retirement? Drum up a second career? Or are you aiming to be like those old codgers who try to ignore the fans shouting from the stands “Retire Already!  Hang it Up, Old Man!” Really think about the answer, and then write down anything that come to mind. Your biggest successes may actually come after you exit the game.

Preparing for Retirement is Like Prepping for the Final Game of the Season

Think of retirement as the biggest game of the season. Retirement is a culmination of all the blood, sweat and tears you’ve put into honing your craft. It’s where all the hard work pays off.

But instead of having one season to prepare for the big game (your life after retirement), you have your entire career. There are no do-overs or resets. What you give is what you get.

With this in mind, it’s critical to put a game plan in place now that details how to set yourself up to live the life you want on the other side of the sale of your business.

It’s easy to think the score is marked just by the numbers in your account, or the size of the transaction upon your exit.  But, like the best athletes know, preparing well to transition into life’s next season with confidence and clarity and team mates you want to play with takes some special training.

It’s up to you what scenes are playing in the montage of your life.

Let’s get the conversation started.

The post In One Shining Moment 2022 appeared first on Denise Logan.

Margaret Mead, the renowned anthropologist, was one to ask, “What were the first signs of civilization?”

Was it when they discovered weapons?

Was it when they discovered clay pots?

Was it when they discovered how to make cave drawings?

It turns out it’s none of those! The first sign of civilization was when they discovered a skeleton with a fractured leg bone that had healed. Mead went on to explain that an animal in the wild will die when it breaks its leg because it’s unable to get food and water or escape from predators. So, finding a human with a repaired leg bone meant that there were other humans around who cared for and sustained that person.

Friends, think of the implication of this: Human care and connection are the first sign of civilization. As humans, we thrive on connection, collaboration, and relationships.

Unfortunately, in the financial services, M&A, legal and accounting industries in which we all play, we’ve developed this really distorted view of how to build relationships. Have you ever noticed that we approach “relationship building” like a transactional event based on a business card exchange?

“I’ll give you my card, you give me your card and then we’ll both put them into our CRMs and send each other periodic emails neither of us will read.”

We try to fill our databases with as many names as possible, just so we can say “we have opportunities” or “relationships” that came from the networking event or golf tournament. But that misses the point.

It’s the R in our CRMs that truly matters…and yet, somehow, we’ve forgotten that.

It’s crucial (and much more financially lucrative) that we view the people that we’re interacting with as relationships, not just contacts. Dunbar’s Number tells us that a human being can manage a maximum of 150 stable relationships. Sure, there are power networkers and salespeople that manage far more than that, but I would argue that it’s impossible to cultivate truly valuable relationships beyond the 150-person mark. And what’s more – how valuable are all those names in your CRM if you don’t actually know anyone?

So, what’s the ideal number? 60 is my starting point.

OK – Take a deep breath. For most of you, the suggestion of cutting your CRM probably fills you with panic.

“BUT, we have 100,000 prospects in our CRM! What if we miss out on an opportunity?”

We know that the 80/20 rule tells us that just 20% of our activity will account for 80% of our results. If you really peel back the layers, I think we would find that in our industry, that percentage might even be closer to 90/10. It’s fear of the unknown that keeps us from fostering the right types of relationships that can serve us and our businesses better.

The math behind 60 relationships is simple:

If you have one deeply connecting conversation with a person every business day over the course of a month, you’ll have about 20 deeply connecting conversations. If you do that every month for three months, you have created new relationships with exactly 60 people.

So, after the first quarter you’ve gotten to know your 60 people better.  And, they know YOU better, too.

The next quarter, you should start over and reconnect with those same 60 people.

Check-in. Care. Collaborate. Form a deep, connected relationship.

In quarter three? Talk to the same 60. Quarter four? You guessed it, the same 60. By the end of the year, you will have real, meaningful relationships with the 60 most important connections that will drive value for you and your business. The trick is, you have to be genuine in your desire to create the relationship. Otherwise, this all falls apart.  Choose your top 60 and be overt about it. Tell the person what you’re doing and WHY. Ask if they’re willing to invest in a deeper relationship with you? Are they willing to commit to this quarter by quarter, an hour at a time, to build something meaningful? You’ll find that most people are starving for this kind of connection.

Think you don’t have time for meaningful relationships? Then start with 12, one per week for Q1 and see if you don’t want to make more time for these. It will transform your business and how you feel about the work you’re doing. Most importantly, it will transform the quality and depth of the relationships you have with the people you’re doing it with. Not convinced you can sustain a meaningful business with fewer real relationships? Don’t worry – you’ll still have plenty of time to spam people from your CRM and have meaningless 15 minute “get to know you” Zoom calls driven by our own sense of FOMO.

Are you one of the precious people in MY Circle of 60?  Would you like to be?

The post The Circle of 60 and the Power of Relationship Building appeared first on Denise Logan.

I’ve linked to my Turning the Page exercise so many of you have come to look forward to and, while it might seem easier to just rush past the end of this year, I think you’ll find it even more important to take time to put this year into perspective.

Even though my specialty is helping business owners and their advisors to stay steady in the face of uncertainty as they navigate the sale of the business, we’ve all had to adapt in the face of more uncertainty than any of us thought we could manage through these past two years.  Where have you developed resilience you didn’t know you had? 

While there were plenty of days when I would have liked to just stay in bed, pull the covers over my head and wait for it to all “go back to normal” (and, to be honest, I did a little of that, too!) I turned again and again to my question “What if I had chosen to do things this way?”  Instead of resisting the fact so much remained virtual this year, I focused on adapting to the way things ARE instead of resisting.

It allowed me to shift my demeanor about the experience, to adapt and, as many of you witnessed in event after event that I spoke at by virtual delivery this year, I found a way to bring my inner Miss Nancy into the room, helping people to feel seen and understood.  (If you missed that Romper Room reference, I’ve just shown my age! Forgive me.)  

Asking “What if I had chosen this new way?” kept cracking the door open just beyond my resistance to give me ways to examine why I do what I do on stage in the way I do it, to find creative ways to engage my audiences without relying on the facial and visual cues I had become accustomed to as a speaker from stage.  It helped me to hone my craft as a professional speaker, to create new offerings like my virtual Fireside Chat that advisors used this year to engage their clients and prospects in building trusting relationships as they prepared to sell their businesses.

I got reacquainted with my kitchen, rediscovered the joys of cooking at home and admitted that those 15 pounds I always wondered why I couldn’t drop directly correlated to the quantity of red wine and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups I consumed (no, not together!) in an effort to stave off boredom while waiting in airport lounges for long-delayed flights.

By the time the second half of the year rolled around, I was able to be out speaking live and in-person again.  I’ve loved seeing so many of you again and am looking forward to more events with you in 2022.  Have you seen my new Speaker Reel that rolled out this year?

I had been writing in my journal for years about needing to dial back some of my travel and I used part of this time at home to get a head start on a special group I’ll be leading just for transitioning CEO’s.  Keep an eye out for some really rich new experiences coming your way in the New Year including The Legacy Dinner and a series of unique events to help Advisors connect with their business owner clients and prospects in ways that will make it easier for deals to close. 

I’m a stickler for completion.  Completing tasks, conversations, relationships.  Most of us are not taught how to make endings, to finish old business, so it doesn’t follow us into the New Year.  We close the books on our businesses, and do year-end reviews with staff, but somehow doing the same work to actively turn the page in our lives and our careers evades us.  I have a solution.

For many years, I’ve been following a simple process to gain perspective on the year as it ends and to intentionally choose what I want to pursue in the year ahead.  Even more effective than New Year Resolutions (which are soon to be broken anyway and usually made without much reflection or planning), I look for patterns, beliefs and circumstances so I can consciously opt into which I carry forward and which I leave behind as I step into a brand new year. 

You know my mantra is Chase What Matters, Do What Counts and this periodic review is the way I hold myself accountable to continuously enhance my life and to winnow out that which doesn’t belong anymore.

It allows me to revisit the pleasures from the year which has passed and begin to make sense of the disappointments and challenges.  Even more, it points the way to issues that I need to seek some help on for the year ahead so I can live the life I intend.  This simple act of closure and completion has been a key part of refining how I run my business and how I lead my life.  It’s a tool I come back to throughout the year, as a blueprint for decision making so I continue to align my choices with what matters.

I have a handy two page list of reflective questions that guides me through a gentle process to close the year with a sense of ease and to outline proactive action steps for the year ahead.  It’s been invaluable to me.  You can find my version here and adapt it for your own use. I’d love to hear what you learn from your own review – drop me a note or let’s do a Zoom.

I’m looking forward to spending time with you in the New Year and to being of service as you Chase What Matters to you.

Happy Holidays!

P.S. I’ve extended the holiday sale on my book The Seller’s Journey  through December 31^st. Now through the end of the year, you can purchase any quantity of The Seller’s Journey at a 15% discount. Simply use coupon code “transition15” at checkout. Grab 10 books to share with key players in your circles of influence as a new way to start conversations that drive meaningful deal flow and see how you close more deals with ease in 2022!  Or buy 100 books and I’ll host a Seminar or Fireside Chat for your team or your clients for free.

The post Turning the Page 2021 appeared first on Denise Logan.

I lived in another state and, like many of us who find ourselves with older parents to care for from afar, I needed to know that the professionals who were walking with them on a journey none of us had ever taken before were fully up to the task. The stakes were high, we needed to trust them, and we only got one chance to get it right.

The morning after my dad’s diagnosis, I flew to Detroit to be with them when they met with the surgeon. In the airport convenience store that morning, as I fished some money out of my purse for a bottle of water and a pack of gum, I noticed a book leaning against the cash register. What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Colorectal Cancer.

 “Ok,” I said to the cashier, “I’ll take the water, the gum and THIS book,” thinking it was obviously something I needed to read on my flight to help me get up to speed before this meeting.

When we’re faced with unfamiliar experiences, our minds naturally want to know what we’re up against and how to prepare for the obstacles we’re likely to encounter on the road ahead. Our business owner clients and their families desperately need that same peek into what lies ahead, not just the technical parts which they can wrap their intellectual minds around, but the things that no one else talks to them about – the emotional changes they’re headed for.

Certainly, what I read in one book on my flight to Detroit didn’t make me as knowledgeable as the surgeon (or even the receptionist at his office at that point, if I’m honest!)  But it DID give me enough of a framework of what we were in for and what he might not think to prepare us for because it was so routine for him.

Of course, our questions were probably ones he had heard (and answered) a zillion times before and probably came out in an emotional string of gobbledygook. I knew that’s to be expected when uncertainty plays such a big part in any significant decision-making. You know it, too, because there are plenty of times when your business owner or their family members seem to have just lost their danged minds!

But I wasn’t prepared for just how dismissive the surgeon was. How he kept checking his watch, impatient to move this all along and “get on with it already.” When my dad asked in a shaky voice whether he was going to have to live with an ostomy bag, the doctor sneered and replied something like “just be grateful if I save your life and stop worrying about things like that.”

Dr. Meany (as I immediately nicknamed him in my mind) wanted to schedule the surgery two days after our meeting. My parents were scared and asked if it needed to happen so soon, couldn’t they have a couple of days to think things through. Dr. Meany was clearly exasperated! His demeanor told us that he thought we were being ridiculous, and he had a busy schedule. Hand on the door, Dr. Meany blurted out, “Fine, it’s your life. Go ahead and roll the dice but time isn’t on your side. Call my scheduling assistant when you make up your mind and we’ll see how long it takes you to get back in my calendar.” And then he was gone, leaving my father trembling on the table in a paper gown and his black socks.

Sadly, many of you have walked some version of this frightful journey yourselves or with someone you have loved.

Some of you, in fact, have even displayed this heartless lack of “bedside manner” or witnessed a deal partner doing it to your own clients who dared to challenge the way you decree the process must go or when they expressed the need to slow things down so they can catch up to all the change that’s making their heads swim.

A good many of you have even said, “Time isn’t on your side, here, Mister” to hurry things along because your own fear about losing a commission reared its head. Or maybe you slammed out the door or abandoned a deal because you were exasperated with your client’s “ridiculous” refusal to just fall into line. You’ve left them metaphorically exposed and shaking in a paper gown and their black socks wondering what the hell just happened and what on earth they’re going to do now.

I have no doubt that Dr. Meany was technically proficient. He had come recommended by their family doctor. Someone they trusted. He probably had no idea what an egotistical cruel man Dr. Meany was because he was an “expert.”

It’s even possible that Dr. Meany wasn’t a bad man, perhaps he was just overworked or fed up with a system that made him feel like he needed to treat the people who brought their precious lives to him like one more cog in a system he needed to churn out. At one point, he might have been someone who cared.

When we met him, Dr. Meany only saw parts for him to mechanically operate on and move on to the next one. He had forgotten that these were people, with lives and loved ones who would be forever changed by their interaction with him. Much like some of you, who have forgotten that your clients think of their business as their baby. What feels like “a frustrating busted deal” to you, is a devastating loss to them.

Have you, like Dr. Meany, forgotten that we are not technicians, we are entrusted with the lives of the people who come to us at vulnerable moments in their lives?

I stayed up most of that night in my hotel room searching for a cancer team that would bring compassion to my family as we traversed one of the most frightening times most of us can imagine.

As the sun rose the next morning, I drove to my parents’ home to talk about choosing a doctor who could care about them. They hadn’t slept either. My parents were reluctant to look for someone else. They no longer knew if they could trust themselves and wanted to just rely on “the experts”. They didn’t know if we could find a caring and skillful doctor. The weight of making the right choice hung over all of us.

The surgeon I found for them to meet with next was just as highly credentialed as Dr. Meany and his website and the reviews seemed like his humanity was intact, but he was far from home. Dr. Meany practiced close to home, they offered. I reminded them so did the veterinarian, but we weren’t going to make choices based on proximity or speed with something this important.  They were worried about the travel distance to the new doctor in an unfamiliar hospital, they worried about starting over. Dr. Meany had terrified them out of being able to think for themselves. They were traumatized by the process and by the absolutely heartless way they were treated by someone they desperately needed to trust.

The new surgeon was part of an integrated cancer team. This team reassured my dad that they would treat him like a member of their own family. He joked with them, does that mean you’ll pretend to ignore me and roll your eyes at my jokes like my daughter does? I’m not saying whether I did or I didn’t roll my eyes at that moment, you’ll have to guess. They promised that they would care for him like he was their favorite uncle.

In fact, this team met once a week to staff all their patients’ cases. The oncologist, the surgeon, the radiologist, the pharmacist, the nursing team, the patient advocate, and lots of others we didn’t even know were “on the case”. Every one of them was fully dialed into the technical aspects of my father’s medical care, but even more importantly, they were equally tuned in to his (and our) emotional care.

What would it mean for your clients to feel like they had an integrated team of caring professionals where every single person was fully dialed in to their experience as they navigated this journey through not only the transaction you’re hired to handle but also the transition they’re undergoing?  Can your clients say they feel you care for them as if they were your favorite uncle? That you are committed to placing them safely on the other shore, that you will not abandon them mid-stream because things get rough and you have other deals that seem easier or more lucrative in the moment?

This new surgeon (who I think of as Dr. Caring) recommended they use radiation to shrink the tumor first, giving them a greater chance of avoiding a long-term ostomy. Of course, he shared the risks of waiting, but he took to heart what was most important to my dad. Do your clients feel like you truly understand what matters most to them in the outcome, even if it isn’t what you recommend?  Can you help them get what they need and allow them to make their own informed decisions?

The team encouraged my mom to involve her primary care doctor in the process, too. At first, she balked, she didn’t see the need. They gently coached her about preparing for the extra strain she might feel as the spouse of someone undergoing such a life change. Thank goodness they did and that her doctor was receptive to being part of a collaborative effort, because a wellness check revealed that she had a fast-growing and aggressive breast cancer.

Now the “team” expanded to also include those professionals who would address my mom’s surgery and recovery.

Together, this integrated team made sure that their surgeries and follow ups and chemo treatments were scheduled taking into account what the other spouse was going to be experiencing.  They made sure they each had support groups – people to talk to who had been through this – so they didn’t feel alone. They made sure they had knowledge and support before, during and after the process to help them make good decisions and make sense of the significant changes that they were undergoing physically and emotionally.

Dr. Caring wasn’t able to avoid a permanent ostomy, the cancer had spread too far for that.  He was aware of just how crushing that would be. He didn’t send someone else to break the news, he didn’t rush my dad to just “look at the bright side and move on” and he was actively involved in helping him grieve this loss. How do you deliver bad news to your clients?

All told, my family spent close to eighteen months intertwined with the many members of this team. Many of your clients will be with you for the better part of a year, or longer, and it’s going to get emotional. They walked side by side with us through what, to them, was undoubtedly at times the mundane and routine parts of their jobs. Through times when their schedules were hectic and they were worn out, too. They earned and kept our trust with every interaction, and they always brought their own humanity to the table with ours. No one person could do it all. But, together, they created a carefully woven safety net without losing the thread of what really mattered.

Think we remember their names? You bet. Think we tell everyone who comes to this fork in the road about the kind of care this team brought as they traveled with us through a journey that could have been even more treacherous than it was? For sure.

Ask yourself, which one are you – Dr. Meany or Dr. Caring? It’s a choice, you know. Have you created the collaborative environment with other caring partners who can attend to their unique piece of the transaction while offering comfort to the precious human being who has invited you into their life for this journey?

Are you applying The Favorite Uncle Standard of Care?

The post The “Favorite Uncle” Standard of Care appeared first on Denise Logan.

I recently met a wealth manager named Amy who had that very reaction.  She asked me why I thought that made her lucky instead of cursed.  I invited her to join me for lunch later that week and promised she’d see what I meant.

She and I met at a local restaurant for lunch with a lawyer, a banker, and an accountant – I know it sounds like the opening to a bad joke or, perhaps, the most boring lunch you can imagine depending on your perspective (and no we hadn’t just walked into a bar!) but keep reading.

The four of us first met as the team of professionals involved in helping our mutual client, Jeremy, sell his business and we have continued to meet for lunch or a drink every other month since then, even though Jeremy’s sale has long-since successfully concluded.  Amy was surprised to learn that it’s an appointment each of us keeps, no matter what else might try to intrude into our calendars.  She wondered why we continue to invest this kind of regular time with each other even when we’re not working on a current deal together.

Here’s what we told her.

“Amy, remember when I told you that you’re lucky if you’re spending half your time as a part-time psychologist with your clients?” I asked.

“Sure,” she replied, “but I can’t imagine why you think that makes me lucky.”

One of the others pointed out that, in every single deal he’s ever been involved in, he realized someone was playing that role of “therapist” and, most often was someone who resented it and wished the business owner would “just get a grip on their emotions” and “act rationally.”

“The reason Denise says you’re lucky if you’re the person the owner has chosen to bring their emotions to is it means you’re the person they feel most safe with in the deal. It means that the other professionals AREN’T making the owner feel safe enough to let down their guard and share with them what’s really going on inside,” my banker friend said.

“That’s right,” continued one of the others.  “Once I realized that I was the one person the owner felt safe with, I recognized it was an honor, not a burden.  But, I also realized that with that honor came a greater sense of responsibility.  If they were trusting me with their emotions, I knew I needed to dial up my own understanding about how I could help them better.  I began to look for ways to bring even more of that sense of emotional safety into the relationships I built with my clients.”

My banker friend added, between bites of his burger, “That’s right, while it started when Denise pointed it out in this deal with Jeremy, once I caught on, it happened for me in other deals, too.  Clients started to tell me what was really going on under the surface for them, instead of making stupid moves and unrealistic demands.  I began to see how much easier it is to solve the issues that used to cause things to inexplicably unravel at the eleventh hour and I started closing more deals.”

Amy said she thought that made sense but that she was worried she wouldn’t know how to handle it if her clients started to get too emotional.  Several of the others admitted that, at first, they were worried about that, too.  But that it got easier with practice and as they continued to learn more skillful ways to show up for their clients.  Especially as the other professionals in Jeremy’s deal were also learning these skills.  They each started to notice that Jeremy was sharing more openly with all of them and not just dumping all of his emotion on one person in the transaction. They didn’t have to wonder what was going on and the chaos and drama they’d been used to virtually vanished and everything got easier.

I told Amy how we had used, an intimate conversational-style dinner event, with Jeremy when we wanted to deepen his sense of connection and trust with the deal team.  We talked about how it created the conditions for psychological safety and how it transformed Jeremy’s relationship with us and ours with each other.

One of them shared that, although his partners had initially thought this approach was a bunch of hooey, as they learned more about what creating emotional safety for their clients meant, they realized that their clients actually seemed to crave that kind of deeper connection with them.  They started to see that the deals which had inexplicably fallen apart before had signs which now seemed obvious and fixable.

“Who knew,” I added, “such simple things could help clients bond to us and bring us into the fold as their most trusted advisors, the ones they come to early when they’re considering selling their business.”

Amy shared that she had been caught off guard a couple of times in the past year when clients of hers had sold their businesses and she only learned of it when the client was moving their accounts to a new wealth management firm.  She wondered whether some of these tools and experiences could help her strengthen the bond with some of her own clients.

Over the rest of lunch, we talked with Amy about the different ways we had learned to build trust with each other and with our clients and how it had radically changed each of our businesses.  She seemed especially interested in exploring whether she and her partners could learn how to do this with their own clients and the referral partners she had been trying to cultivate relationships with.

Lest you think we’re just a bunch of lazy bums with nothing else to do but lounge around over lunch or drinks, let me assure you that each of us have busy professional and personal lives, but we’ve seen just how important it is to create the ideal conditions for psychological safety and unshakeable trust for our clients and each other.

Our commitment to our client Jeremy in that deal ad beyond it has been to deepen our respect and rapport so that we can collectively be the safest nest for our clients in the future as we help them weather one of the most challenging transitions in their lives.

Guess what, since that lunch, two of the five of us are already engaged in a relationship with a new client together and that client is already sharing the kind of information that shows us he feels safe.  And every one of us is confident that this deal will close with ease.  As it should when an owner is surrounded by professionals who care about their client and each other

Most Advisors don’t believe me when I share they can
consistently close more deals with ease.

Then, they experience it for themselves.

Once you experience an inbox full of referrals and both you and your sellers expect a trustworthy sale process…you never go back to seeing the work as a numbers game.

Want to learn more about how YOU can find this same success with your clients and referral partners? 

Reach out – I’d love to show you how.

The Legacy Dinner is an intimate, conversational-style dinner event that helps you connect with your circles of influence and clients. Learn more about how best to utilize it for your business.

The post Do You Want to Know What’s REALLY Going on With Your Clients? appeared first on Denise Logan.