This weekend sees the end of March Madness, the NCAA men’s basketball championship tournament.  From now until the final game is played on April 3, film crews will be capturing the most memorable moments – from the joyous to the heartbreaking – to craft into a video montage played at the end of the tournament over one of the most recognizable songs associated with college sports: David Barrett’s “One Shining Moment.”

The Championship games represent the final opportunities this year for these athletes to take a run at the work they love and have poured themselves into for years.  For some of them, it will also be their final time on the court.

Those who are graduating or not returning to the sport the following year will wake up on the morning of April 4 to grapple with some of the same questions about identity, purpose and belonging that the founders of businesses face when they sell their company and step off the court on which they, too, have been playing for years.

I wonder how many coaches and parents and fans are prepared to walk alongside those athletes as they find their new place in the world when March Madness ends?   Who will take that walk with you?

Retirement begins to loom over everyone once they reach a certain age. For athletes, that age typically comes much sooner than for the rest of us.

At some point, Father Time forces every one of us to make a decision: Go out on top, or try to hang on as long as possible. I’m sure you can name some of those athletes who chose the second path and tried to stick around past their expiration dates and saw their legacies take a hit.

Ask any rookie or mid-career athlete what their long-term goal is and they’ll likely tell you it’s to keep playing sports. No one wants to imagine their career coming to an end.

But here’s the thing: It will end eventually. It’s inevitable. And it could come sooner than they think if they’re injured, aged-out of their program, or simply get sick of the daily grind.

The same is true for every business owner.  Although I often hear clients say “I just love being ‘in the game,’” the reality is that, at some point, like every athlete you will leave your business – voluntarily or involuntarily.

So, ask yourself: What do you want to do when your run is over?  When it’s time to step off the court?

Do you want to head into early retirement? Drum up a second career? Or are you aiming to be like those old codgers who try to ignore the fans shouting from the stands “Retire Already!  Hang it Up, Old Man!” Really think about the answer, and then write down anything that come to mind. Your biggest successes may actually come after you exit the game.

Preparing for Retirement is Like Prepping for the Final Game of the Season

Think of retirement as the biggest game of the season. Retirement is a culmination of all the blood, sweat and tears you’ve put into honing your craft. It’s where all the hard work pays off.

But instead of having one season to prepare for the big game (your life after retirement), you have your entire career. There are no do-overs or resets. What you give is what you get.

With this in mind, it’s critical to put a game plan in place now that details how to set yourself up to live the life you want on the other side of the sale of your business.

It’s easy to think the score is marked just by the numbers in your account, or the size of the transaction upon your exit.  But, like the best athletes know, preparing well to transition into life’s next season with confidence and clarity and team mates you want to play with takes some special training.

It’s up to you what scenes are playing in the montage of your life.

Let’s get the conversation started.

The post In One Shining Moment 2023 appeared first on Denise Logan.

If we can’t step away from our jobs temporarily, how can we encourage our clients to step away from their jobs completely?

Even if it’s just for a few days, being away from your work can give you a glimpse into the future experience of your client who is facing retirement. You can put yourself in their shoes and empathize more deeply with the worry and stress they are feeling about being away from what has been such an important part of their life – work.

Let me challenge you – just for this holiday weekend – try it. Here are some tips:

Put your out of office message on, and live up to it – unplug. Turn your phone off and put it in a drawer. Tune in to the people you care about and the experiences you’re involved in. Don’t numb out by looking at email or scrolling through social media. Experience your life and the places in the day where you feel the pull of your phone to stave off boredom or uncertainty or to buffer difficult conversations with others.

Notice the excuses that come into your mind to keep you from doing this:

“My kids might need me.”

“I have a deal in the works.”

“How will I know what time the movie starts if I’m not looking it up on my phone.”

“Just a peek to check the right way to hard boil an egg or that recipe for a perfect …”

“I’m just clearing those emails out so I won’t be overwhelmed after the long weekend.”

Yes, I’m outing myself in these statements! I’ve thought of versions of each of them for myself.

Admit it, you have your own version of these “excuses” to stay plugged into work or your device, instead of plugged into your family or the moment you are actually in. And so does your client – in fact, it’s a big part of what keeps them from being willing to step toward exiting their business or retiring. In essence, each of these excuses are elements of FOMO (fear of missing out, for those of you who’ve never seen that abbreviation before!) and are indicative of how much you will struggle when it’s time to let go into your own exit or retirement.

Become the kind of Trusted Advisor your clients really need – one who has faced his or her own fears about these issues so you can accompany them through these very real and very normal elements of their transition.

You’re already a skilled professional, steeped in the transactional elements – now it’s time to get dialed into the very real emotional experience of the transition they are undergoing. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk, friends! That’s what will help you separate yourself from the hordes of other professionals who you’re competing with – the nuanced skills you bring that help create comfort for your client, so they can tell you what they’re really struggling with – and you can help them find solutions.

Every weekend I take a 36 hour “electronic pause” – either Friday evening to Sunday morning or Saturday evening to Monday morning – I unplug completely. No phone, no tablet, no Kindle, no computer, no tv. It helps me notice all the dozens of times my brain tries to trick me into using a device, instead of being present with the people and experiences in front of me. It also helps me to notice areas of my life where I can grow – other than my work.

It’s taken me time to develop the discipline to stick with this and I challenge clients to do a modified version of this as they begin to prepare for their exit. And, yes, every one of them resists doing this!

In one part of my book, The Seller’s Journey, the characters have to put their devices in a lock box before they head out onto the glacier. One of them has a big ol’ meltdown being separated from his device. It’s a metaphor for what our clients will face when no one is calling them on the other side of their exit.

Many of our clients haven’t even finished a full round of golf in years because they are interrupted with something “urgent” from the office. Many of you haven’t had a fully unplugged vacation – or even an uninterrupted meal! – in years either. My own experience with this practice of unplugging helps me to stay compassionate with clients’ struggles on the journey of transition away from their business and into their own version of “What’s Next?” My own experience with it helps me reassure them that the feelings they are experiencing are normal and there are solutions other than just delaying their exit or retirement.

Will you join me this holiday weekend in giving it a try? You might not go the entire weekend unplugged like I will, but even a couple hours will give you a profound experience of what your client might be feeling and allow you to help them get ready when they are worrying about falling into a Black Hole on the other side of their exit.

Let me know what you learn from your experiment with this.

The post Challenging You to Unplug appeared first on Denise Logan.

“Don’t let them know you are selling.”

I’m paraphrasing the actual post to keep the advisor anonymous, but the advice hit me in the stomach, and made me think back to my own exit. It was a crazy time, and I just needed advisors around me that I could trust…

Advisors that would point me in the right direction on the big things, while also helping me keep track of the little things. Telling my employees, partners, and even potential buyers the details of our impending sale was one of those big things.

It’s easy for us to automatically default to the, “Keep things as normal as you can and don’t tell a soul,” advice. After all, the slightest errant comment or “leak” could derail any deal… right?

We’re all guilty. Bankers, brokers, and lawyers tell our owners, “Keep it a secret or your people will leave, or your competition will take advantage, or let’s just not talk about THOSE numbers.”

I’m afraid our LinkedIn-posting-advisor (and our entire industry) has been doing it wrong

Look, I’m not clueless about the financial implications of not having a deal close. I get it, the entire deal team and all its players have time, money, and resources at stake in getting this thing across the finish line. But, lying (or failing to disclose) doesn’t work as well as one might think.

When we advise our business owners or buyers to lie, bend the truth, or fail to disclose, we’re letting our own fear run the show. We tell our clients it’s OK to sneak around, show the business in the dark after hours, get their bookkeeper to create reports under a false pretense, and create stories when key employees ask, “Are you selling?”

“Well, any business is always for sale at the right price.” Deflect. Lie. Deflect. Avoid. Lie. Deflect again.

Aren’t we exhausted just thinking about doing it this way? Do we really think it’s sustainable for us to keep up with these shenanigans? Employees always find out. The bookkeeping antics always shake out at the end of the deal. Our own conscience takes a hit.

Selling a business has enough complexity already. It requires everyone on the deal team to stay emotionally grounded, well-rested and in touch with their values. Adding in the wholly unnecessary drama that comes with concealing, lying, hiding information, and remembering what lie was told to whom makes it harder (not easier) for everyone to make good and timely decisions.

In fact, our bodies are hardwired to hit ‘pause’ when we sense deception in the work we’re doing.

Ever have a secret you’re withholding from someone? Even something as innocuous as a surprise party is enough to put us on edge… Our brain goes on high alert as the concealment gets deeper: “What was THAT look? Does she know? Be careful. Don’t say the wrong thing!”

That nervousness comes from our amygdala – the ancient tool in our brain that’s actively working to keep us safe. It helped our ancestors recognize when there was danger in our environment.

Unfortunately, the subconscious meandering of the amygdala also eats up mental, emotional, and physical bandwidth, making it difficult for our bodies to give resources to our “thinking brain.” Meanwhile, the to-be-surprised-person is also noticing your weirdness…and it’s tripping THEIR amygdala! “Hmm…so and so is acting weird,” or, “That answer doesn’t make sense,” leading them to pry even more. Next thing you know, both people are suspicious of each other…and we hesitate.

Sound familiar? Subconsciously, everyone involved in the deal process is feeling a certain level of fear. It only gets worse as we get further from the truth. That fear slows things down!

More importantly, I think we tend to forget that the way we do deals leaves an imprint on us, our clients, our deal partners, and the employees who are affected by the sale.

Employees are not pieces of equipment to be sold. They’re human beings who have helped build the business. The employee who gets duped by a lying owner carries that heightened suspicion into their future as well. It’s a vicious cycle driven by fear, and it ripples out into our lives. How ‘safe’ does the buyer really feel when he hears, “No – my employees don’t know yet.” Isn’t the buyer also thinking, “If you’ll lie to the people you’ve worked with for years (and allegedly care for), how can I trust you as a stranger buying a business from you?”

An owner will halt a sale because the buyer’s culture doesn’t align, or he doesn’t trust that they’ll take care of his employees…and yet, we stand idle while that same owner omits information (or lies entirely) to his team pre-sale. Is it possible that slamming the brakes on the deal is just the owner’s conscience springing things back in order because he knows it’s wrong to hide all of this from his team?

What happened to incentivizing our people and making them part of the selling process, so they have agency about their lives? And where does it stop? Will we also conceal buyer info and “ask for forgiveness later”? Will the owner or broker like it when they discover that the buyer also “protected them from the truth” about something on their side?

Let’s stop the madness. Bring back honesty, integrity, and humanity to the deal process.

Advisors – Be that safe, trustworthy, emotionally grounded guide of integrity for your clients and deal partners. Stop letting your fear run the deal and drive chaos for everyone else in it. Return our professions to the noble standing they deserve. Stop normalizing lying and deception and excusing the harm it causes.

Owners – Yes you want to sell your business, but you don’t have to ignore your moral compass and become a liar to do so. Choose advisors who are grounded in honesty and in their own emotional safety to help you stay settled through your sale so you can make good decisions AND feel good about yourself on the other side.

The post Don’t Let Deception Derail Your Deals appeared first on Denise Logan.

The callous use of a common phrase in someone else’s blog post shocked me.

The writer used the common acronym “ROI”.

But he couched it as “Relief on Investment” in describing how to choose a charity to support victims of Tropical Storm Harvey, which at the time had just devastated south Texas.

My anger flared.

How the hell did we just equate relief of people’s suffering with an investment philosophy?  Yes, money matters.  But is it what matters most?

Hurricane Harvey was a devastating 2017 storm that battered Texas. When we watched the news and social media feeds coming out of Houston, many of us were alternating between pangs of grief, guilt and gratitude.  Gratitude that we were watching from a distance, safely ensconced in our dry homes with our children and belongings surrounding us.  Grief as we witnessed the suffering of those being plucked from the still roiling waters, their faces contorted with pain and loss and confusion.  And guilt as we tried to discern how we can help.

Our hearts broke as we watched others suffer.  We felt lost and wondered how we could best help.  Should we send money? Dry socks? Food items?

Many of us experience that same sense of helplessness and have reached out to the people closest to us in acts of localized kindness as we’ve witnessed tragedies across the globe – the tsunamis, earthquakes, terror bombings…wars.

We change our Facebook profile pictures to show our solidarity with victims of distant tragedies, we open our wallets to aid organizations.  We even travel across the country to cheer for Batman as he transforms an ordinary city into Gotham City to fulfill a final wish for a cancer-stricken child.

We are wired for empathy…Even if the situation feels impossible. But the “ROI” of helping? Isn’t the “return” intrinsic?

The blog post that angered me spoke about how we should measure the value of our charitable contributions. The post’s author is a good guy, he just got caught up in using the wrong benchmarks of success.  Of course, money matters and it’s important.  But, as Harvey helped us see, when tragedy strikes, the metrics that matter are the ones that reflect where we regularly invest .

Kindness is what matters and it’s always there, ready to be shared.

Small investment, big return.  When you benchmark your ROI against it every day, you’ll find it heralds a success greater than any other you might have thought you were chasing.

This got me thinking about how we can invest in our clients that we work with. How can we invest in our clients and make a meaningful impact in their life? How do we measure the return on investment in these relationships?

When I zoom back to my business, and to the advisors I work with, the ROI always seems better when there is respect and trust on both sides of the deal table.very deal, there is a moment where the parties either trust each other or everything falls apart. What if you could set up the dynamic, where everyone already has the foundation of a trusting relationship to draw upon?  What if kindness, caring, and building the relationship was what mattered?

Tragedy or not, let’s get to know each other better. Let’s spend meaningful time with our clients and within our circles of influence. I always say “we need to put the “relationship” back in “CRM”. Maybe it’s time we change up that first “R” in “ROI” too.

The post Putting the “R” Back in ROI appeared first on Denise Logan.

Last week I was listening to a great story on NPR about whether Founder CEOs have a shelf life.

It focused on the concept of transition as the Co-Founder of Peloton John Foley stepped down as CEO, and moved into the role of Executive Chairman. Foley led Peloton through its entire ten year existence and will be replaced by former Spotify CFO Barry McCarthy.

The story points out other cautionary tales of massively successful retail brands, like FitBit and GoPro, that both turned down opportunities to sell, because their founder wasn’t ready to let go. Eventually, FitBit sold to Google, but only after it lost market share to competitors like Apple, while GoPro went public only to see its share price become a third of what it was.

It made me think about what so many of our clients face when the founder hangs on too long, trying to keep leading when they should let go.

One client I worked with struggled to let go, even after having fallen ill and spending several months in a coma. While to outsiders it looked obvious that the interim leadership had successfully filled the gap left by his illness and there was no longer a role for him in the company, he struggled with the challenges of letting go when it wasn’t how he had imagined it would happen.

The very real question of “How do I let go?” isn’t one that is resolved in a single moment.  Like many significant questions in our lives, it is a process. He moved forward and then stepped back, again and again.

Listening to the NPR segment last week made me wonder and reflect about what that process had looked and felt like for Foley and for Peloton.

While the story that is presently being told about Foley’s transition makes it look like a smooth and seamless event, just a single moment of transition, it’s never quite as cut and dried as it seems.  One has to wonder how much back and forth Foley did behind the scenes that no one gets to see.  Like most founders, I wonder how he made the time to just slow down to even think about letting go, amidst all of the other responsibilities that come with running a company every day, and who his helpers were in coming to this decision.

On the surface, a founder’s reluctance to let go may seem that it’s about control, but sometimes control is what masks the bigger questions like “Who am I if I’m not the leader of this company?” “What if the company does better after I leave?” “What if the company struggles after I leave, will I be blamed?”

There are many public examples that affirm these founders’ fears. Bill Gates stepped down as CEO of Microsoft, only for co-founder Steve Ballmer to take the reigns. Unfortunately, Microsoft took a deep dive during Ballmer’s tenure as CEO, and it makes me wonder if another co-founder was the best person to take on the job of CEO. On paper, he sure seemed like the right fit, but it’s possible he was too close to the company to help provide the vision that it takes to grow. Being able to bring empathy to the unspoken fears founders struggle with as they contemplate letting go is what distinguishes you as a trusted advisor, instead of just another technician executing a transaction.

Bringing in somebody new to run a company can provide a unique advantage with a fresh influx of ideas. As companies grow, innovation is frequently what keeps the company afloat. When Microsoft was growing, their innovation was faltering, and the company took a great set back. Founders that created the company might think that they have the best ideas for the company-since the company was their idea in the first place-but we can remind our clients that sometimes innovation can also come from somebody else’s voice, with a different background and set of experiences.

Then there’s Jack Dorsey, the former CEO of Twitter who at one time was trying to be the CEO of Twitter and Square at the same time. How can we expect a founder to serve everyone well if they’re trying to do everything? As advisors, we can help our clients realize when they have spread themselves too thin. It’s common for owners to think they’re superheroes. However, it takes a trusted advisor to help them pull back when they’re overextending themselves.

It’s one thing to be a founder of a company, but it can be an entirely different thing to be a CEO and leader of a company. Our owners find out, sometimes the hard way, that they are not the ones best equipped to be in this position and it’s on us as advisors to recognize that there are a lot of feelings tied to that.

When you’re the best at one part of the job and you become CEO and then suddenly, you’re not the best at the job, how do you help them with the one identity that they have built? Sometimes they’re stuck finding that out themselves. How is it realistic to think that these people are going to come to these realizations on their own account?

Steve Jobs had to leave Apple the first time to be ready to be the leader it needed when he returned. He was a founder that found out the hard way at the time, he didn’t have the skillset the company needed to thrive. When he left, he gained more perspective and returned with a fresh vision for Apple that made it the global icon it is today.

Meanwhile, there are some leaders that have successfully managed the transition from founder to CEO. Examples like Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos come to mind, but, like NPR noted, these leaders are a rare exception.

Another client I’ve worked with has been in the process of an orderly multi-year transition out of the role of leading his company and, even with that well-thought-out and structured leaving (he, too, like the founder of Peloton, has moved into Executive Chairman role) it’s been an emotional journey.

Founders really do struggle with these questions of “When should I leave?” and “How do I let go?” They deserve the careful guidance of advisors who recognize that stepping away from something you’ve given birth to – like Foley has done with Peloton and like many of our clients will do with their companies – isn’t a one-and-done decision … it’s a process. There are so many emotions involved when they are so entrenched in their business. Their companies are their babies, the people that work there are like families, and often they think that they’re the best equipped to handle what’s happening at the company.

As I wrote in my article about the similarities between business owners and parents of college freshmen, there is an art to letting go. Much like how we need to let our children grow up, we must do the same for our businesses. If we coddled our children like we sometimes coddle our businesses, they would never be successful. They need time to grow up on their own, without their parents, and make their own way forward. As advisors, we can help our clients realize when it’s time for them to let go, before it’s too late.

The Seller’s Journey is a great tool for you to use to help your clients find when it’s time to let go. I encourage you to share it with your clients to give them an example of an owner that’s going through much of the same emotional journey they are going through. Together, we can help our clients do what is best for them and their companies, treating the process like a transition, and not just a transaction.

The post Helping Clients Know When to Let Go appeared first on Denise Logan.

The Championship games represent the final opportunities this year for these athletes to take a run at the work they love and have poured themselves into for years.  For some of them, it will also be their final time on the court.

Those who are graduating or not returning to the sport the following year will wake up on the morning of April 6 to grapple with some of the same questions about identity, purpose and belonging that the founders of businesses face when they sell their company and step off the court on which they, too, have been playing for years.

I wonder how many coaches and parents and fans are prepared to walk alongside those athletes as they find their new place in the world when March Madness ends?   Who will take that walk with you?

Retirement begins to loom over everyone once they reach a certain age. For athletes, that age typically comes much sooner than for the rest of us.

At some point, Father Time forces every one of us to make a decision: Go out on top, or try to hang on as long as possible. I’m sure you can name some of those athletes who chose the second path and tried to stick around past their expiration dates and saw their legacies take a hit.

Ask any rookie or mid-career athlete what their long-term goal is and they’ll likely tell you it’s to keep playing sports. No one wants to imagine their career coming to an end.

But here’s the thing: It will end eventually. It’s inevitable. And it could come sooner than they think if they’re injured, aged-out of their program, or simply get sick of the daily grind.

The same is true for every business owner.  Although I often hear clients say “I just love being ‘in the game,’” the reality is that, at some point, like every athlete you will leave your business – voluntarily or involuntarily.

So, ask yourself: What do you want to do when your run is over?  When it’s time to step off the court?

Do you want to head into early retirement? Drum up a second career? Or are you aiming to be like those old codgers who try to ignore the fans shouting from the stands “Retire Already!  Hang it Up, Old Man!” Really think about the answer, and then write down anything that come to mind. Your biggest successes may actually come after you exit the game.

Preparing for Retirement is Like Prepping for the Final Game of the Season

Think of retirement as the biggest game of the season. Retirement is a culmination of all the blood, sweat and tears you’ve put into honing your craft. It’s where all the hard work pays off.

But instead of having one season to prepare for the big game (your life after retirement), you have your entire career. There are no do-overs or resets. What you give is what you get.

With this in mind, it’s critical to put a game plan in place now that details how to set yourself up to live the life you want on the other side of the sale of your business.

It’s easy to think the score is marked just by the numbers in your account, or the size of the transaction upon your exit.  But, like the best athletes know, preparing well to transition into life’s next season with confidence and clarity and team mates you want to play with takes some special training.

It’s up to you what scenes are playing in the montage of your life.

Let’s get the conversation started.

The post In One Shining Moment 2022 appeared first on Denise Logan.

I recently met a wealth manager named Amy who had that very reaction.  She asked me why I thought that made her lucky instead of cursed.  I invited her to join me for lunch later that week and promised she’d see what I meant.

She and I met at a local restaurant for lunch with a lawyer, a banker, and an accountant – I know it sounds like the opening to a bad joke or, perhaps, the most boring lunch you can imagine depending on your perspective (and no we hadn’t just walked into a bar!) but keep reading.

The four of us first met as the team of professionals involved in helping our mutual client, Jeremy, sell his business and we have continued to meet for lunch or a drink every other month since then, even though Jeremy’s sale has long-since successfully concluded.  Amy was surprised to learn that it’s an appointment each of us keeps, no matter what else might try to intrude into our calendars.  She wondered why we continue to invest this kind of regular time with each other even when we’re not working on a current deal together.

Here’s what we told her.

“Amy, remember when I told you that you’re lucky if you’re spending half your time as a part-time psychologist with your clients?” I asked.

“Sure,” she replied, “but I can’t imagine why you think that makes me lucky.”

One of the others pointed out that, in every single deal he’s ever been involved in, he realized someone was playing that role of “therapist” and, most often was someone who resented it and wished the business owner would “just get a grip on their emotions” and “act rationally.”

“The reason Denise says you’re lucky if you’re the person the owner has chosen to bring their emotions to is it means you’re the person they feel most safe with in the deal. It means that the other professionals AREN’T making the owner feel safe enough to let down their guard and share with them what’s really going on inside,” my banker friend said.

“That’s right,” continued one of the others.  “Once I realized that I was the one person the owner felt safe with, I recognized it was an honor, not a burden.  But, I also realized that with that honor came a greater sense of responsibility.  If they were trusting me with their emotions, I knew I needed to dial up my own understanding about how I could help them better.  I began to look for ways to bring even more of that sense of emotional safety into the relationships I built with my clients.”

My banker friend added, between bites of his burger, “That’s right, while it started when Denise pointed it out in this deal with Jeremy, once I caught on, it happened for me in other deals, too.  Clients started to tell me what was really going on under the surface for them, instead of making stupid moves and unrealistic demands.  I began to see how much easier it is to solve the issues that used to cause things to inexplicably unravel at the eleventh hour and I started closing more deals.”

Amy said she thought that made sense but that she was worried she wouldn’t know how to handle it if her clients started to get too emotional.  Several of the others admitted that, at first, they were worried about that, too.  But that it got easier with practice and as they continued to learn more skillful ways to show up for their clients.  Especially as the other professionals in Jeremy’s deal were also learning these skills.  They each started to notice that Jeremy was sharing more openly with all of them and not just dumping all of his emotion on one person in the transaction. They didn’t have to wonder what was going on and the chaos and drama they’d been used to virtually vanished and everything got easier.

I told Amy how we had used, an intimate conversational-style dinner event, with Jeremy when we wanted to deepen his sense of connection and trust with the deal team.  We talked about how it created the conditions for psychological safety and how it transformed Jeremy’s relationship with us and ours with each other.

One of them shared that, although his partners had initially thought this approach was a bunch of hooey, as they learned more about what creating emotional safety for their clients meant, they realized that their clients actually seemed to crave that kind of deeper connection with them.  They started to see that the deals which had inexplicably fallen apart before had signs which now seemed obvious and fixable.

“Who knew,” I added, “such simple things could help clients bond to us and bring us into the fold as their most trusted advisors, the ones they come to early when they’re considering selling their business.”

Amy shared that she had been caught off guard a couple of times in the past year when clients of hers had sold their businesses and she only learned of it when the client was moving their accounts to a new wealth management firm.  She wondered whether some of these tools and experiences could help her strengthen the bond with some of her own clients.

Over the rest of lunch, we talked with Amy about the different ways we had learned to build trust with each other and with our clients and how it had radically changed each of our businesses.  She seemed especially interested in exploring whether she and her partners could learn how to do this with their own clients and the referral partners she had been trying to cultivate relationships with.

Lest you think we’re just a bunch of lazy bums with nothing else to do but lounge around over lunch or drinks, let me assure you that each of us have busy professional and personal lives, but we’ve seen just how important it is to create the ideal conditions for psychological safety and unshakeable trust for our clients and each other.

Our commitment to our client Jeremy in that deal ad beyond it has been to deepen our respect and rapport so that we can collectively be the safest nest for our clients in the future as we help them weather one of the most challenging transitions in their lives.

Guess what, since that lunch, two of the five of us are already engaged in a relationship with a new client together and that client is already sharing the kind of information that shows us he feels safe.  And every one of us is confident that this deal will close with ease.  As it should when an owner is surrounded by professionals who care about their client and each other

Most Advisors don’t believe me when I share they can
consistently close more deals with ease.

Then, they experience it for themselves.

Once you experience an inbox full of referrals and both you and your sellers expect a trustworthy sale process…you never go back to seeing the work as a numbers game.

Want to learn more about how YOU can find this same success with your clients and referral partners? 

Reach out – I’d love to show you how.

The Legacy Dinner is an intimate, conversational-style dinner event that helps you connect with your circles of influence and clients. Learn more about how best to utilize it for your business.

The post Do You Want to Know What’s REALLY Going on With Your Clients? appeared first on Denise Logan.

We talked about how we had each heard similar stories from friends at the gym and even celebrities seemed to be posting about their angst on our respective social media feeds.  

I remarked how lucky we are to have a name for what we were talking about “Empty Nest Syndrome”.  He nodded his head and said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right, that IS what we’re talking about, isn’t it?”

As you read on, I invite you to think about the similarities our owners face when they sell their business and how our familiarity with the emotional journey of launching our children can help you to care for your client through this very similar moment of transition when letting go of their business. 

While much has been written about how to survive empty nesting and we’re all familiar with couples who, once the children are “out of the nest”, look at each other and wonder “Who are you?” and “Do I even want to find out again?” or “What the heck do I do with myself now?” Many of those relationships don’t survive the existential challenges of reframing the relationship when caregiving for children and mutual parenting responsibilities lay bare what remains of substance in their relationship. 

The same is true for our business owners.  It’s not a coincidence that so many of them think of their business as “their baby”.  They birthed this business, nurtured it through troubled times and watched it grow. When faced with the time to let go and launch it into the world, they understandably experience this same emotional arc of letting go and the concurrent question about their identity without it. 

One of the things that helps parents process the innate sense of disorientation and sometimes surprising sense of emptiness is knowing that it’s perfectly normal.  That what they’re feeling is what tens of millions of other parents are going through in the same moment and that others have survived and gone on to thrive in their post-acute parenting time.  Most people around them recognize what they are experiencing as a normal part of letting go of their children and find support in their family and friends as they work through these feelings. 

What if, as advisors, we helped to prepare our clients for this same perfectly normal period of adjustment.  Instead of ignoring it, shaming them for their feelings or telling them they’ll “get over it” – recognize the transition that they are experiencing.  Bring to your client conversations an awareness of how you have navigated similar emotions when your children launched (or if you haven’t yet launched children, you can draw upon your own experience of the period of uncertainty when YOU left home, or had to leave behind a favorite coach or even sold a home and realized you were leaving behind the oak tree you had planted all those years before).  Come to the conversation with empathy and help normalize the experience, validate their fears, anxiety and worries.  Help your client to reflect upon how they dealt with the similar experience when their children launched (or they left a home they loved, etc.) Because most parents know that what they are experiencing is “empty nest” adjustment, we can laugh about it when we come to the table with one more plate than there are diners that night.  “Oh, that’s right, she’s at college.” We remind ourselves or know to gently comfort our spouse who remarks, “It’s so quiet here now.  I miss him.” Even though just weeks ago he was shouting up the stairs, “Turn down the music!” or “Why can’t you remember to turn off the lights!”  Oddly now we feel a little lost longing for those same things that annoyed us so recently.  If we didn’t know this was normal, we’d feel crazy. 

That’s exactly what our business owner client feels when she finds herself about to turn into the parking lot of the business she already sold, when she was actually headed somewhere else.  Her brain was on auto pilot, going to work was such a part of her routine.  Of course, it feels jarring to suddenly find herself in the parking lot where she no longer belongs.  She might feel embarrassed and hope no one saw her.  Or she might want to just pop in and say hello to her former employees.   

Likewise, the owner who was absolutely fed up with all the employees’ shenanigans and swore they wouldn’t miss it one single bit needs our compassion when the nostalgia appears and they question “maybe it wasn’t really all that bad” wondering if they made a mistake in their decision to sell. 

As parents, we remember that it was always our goal to raise this child and launch them into the world.  That this was what we were working toward and is actually a marker of our success as parents.  We kept them safe until adulthood (or this reasonable facsimile of adulthood!) and instilled in them the basics to begin making their way into the world.   Such is true for our business owners.  Their goal was always to build something successful and sell it or turn it over to the next generation, a means to harvest the wealth from their labors to fund their future or that of their family.   

But, then again, we experience the emptiness of the space in our home and in our routine that the now-launched child or business used to fill and find ourselves surprised by the depth of conflicting emotions and loss. 

We, and they, let go of the roles and routines and step herky-jerky into our new not-quite-so-clear and definitely less comfortable routines and roles.  We begin to discover who we are, other than Drew’s mom or Tory’s dad or the owner of XYZ Company.  Perhaps we pick up hobbies we enjoyed earlier in our life or had deferred because of our parenting responsibilities or realize we have no outside interests and feel ashamed and worried we won’t find anything to occupy our time.   

We try to navigate friendships that were forged with the parents of our children’s friends or with our employees and business associates. We discover those friendships drifting and realize that they were based on common interests we no longer share and question if those friendships were even real.  As empty nesters and former business owners, we are faced with the prospect of making new friends as adults and it can feel scary. 

Years ago, a close friend confided that she and her husband were thinking of having another baby since they missed their daughter who had just gone off to college.  I remarked, “But you’re finally free!” to which she replied, “It doesn’t feel free, it just feels … well … empty.  We loved being involved parents with our daughter.”  Sound familiar?  How many of your business owner clients dive right back into another business within a few months to avoid the emotions involved in forging a new identity?  Metaphorically, having another baby. 

Make good use of this season of launching to notice how you and the people around you are practicing the art of letting go and bring those lessons and that empathy into your work with owners all year long.   

I know I say it all the time but it’s true – it really IS a transition, not a transaction – and when we treat it that way, everyone wins. 

The post The Art of Letting Go: What Parents of College Freshmen and Business Owners Have in Common appeared first on Denise Logan.

The Championship games represent the final opportunities this year for these athletes to take a run at the work they love and have poured themselves into for years.  For some of them, it will also be their final time on the court.

Those who are graduating or not returning to the sport the following year will wake up on the morning of April 6 to grapple with some of the same questions about identity, purpose and belonging that the founders of businesses face when they sell their company and step off the court on which they, too, have been playing for years.

I wonder how many coaches and parents and fans are prepared to walk alongside those athletes as they find their new place in the world when March Madness ends?   Who will take that walk with you?

Retirement begins to loom over everyone once they reach a certain age. For athletes, that age typically comes much sooner than for the rest of us.

At some point, Father Time forces every one of us to make a decision: Go out on top, or try to hang on as long as possible. I’m sure you can name some of those athletes who chose the second path and tried to stick around past their expiration dates and saw their legacies take a hit.

Ask any rookie or mid-career athlete what their long-term goal is and they’ll likely tell you it’s to keep playing sports. No one wants to imagine their career coming to an end.

But here’s the thing: It will end eventually. It’s inevitable. And it could come sooner than they think if they’re injured, aged-out of their program, or simply get sick of the daily grind.

The same is true for every business owner.  Although I often hear clients say “I just love being ‘in the game,’” the reality is that, at some point, like every athlete you will leave your business – voluntarily or involuntarily.

So, ask yourself: What do you want to do when your run is over?  When it’s time to step off the court?

Do you want to head into early retirement? Drum up a second career? Or are you aiming to be like those old codgers who try to ignore the fans shouting from the stands “Retire Already!  Hang it Up, Old Man!” Really think about the answer, and then write down anything that come to mind. Your biggest successes may actually come after you exit the game.

Preparing for Retirement is Like Prepping for the Final Game of the Season

Think of retirement as the biggest game of the season. Retirement is a culmination of all the blood, sweat and tears you’ve put into honing your craft. It’s where all the hard work pays off.

But instead of having one season to prepare for the big game (your life after retirement), you have your entire career. There are no do-overs or resets. What you give is what you get.

With this in mind, it’s critical to put a game plan in place now that details how to set yourself up to live the life you want on the other side of the sale of your business.

It’s easy to think the score is marked just by the numbers in your account, or the size of the transaction upon your exit.  But, like the best athletes know, preparing well to transition into life’s next season with confidence and clarity and team mates you want to play with takes some special training.

It’s up to you what scenes are playing in the montage of your life.

Let’s get the conversation started.

The post In One Shining Moment appeared first on Denise Logan.

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CLOSING THE BOOK ON 2021

1. What did I embrace in 2021?
2. What did I let go of in 2021?
3. What changed for me in 2021?
4. What did I discover about myself in 2021?
5. What was I most grateful for in 2021?
6. When did fear hold me back in 2021?
7. Where did I demonstrate courage in 2021?
8. What surprised me in 2021?
9. What made me smile in 2021?
10. What were my 3 most significant accomplishments in 2021? For each, list the following:
    1. The skills that helped me to make it happen
    2. How my life changed because of it
    3. What I learned about myself
    4. How did I celebrate/acknowledge (or, if I didn’t, how can I do it for future accomplishments)
11. What were my 3 most significant challenges in 2021? There may be more than 3, use the ones that come to mind first.  They may have tested my limits, my patience or may be big or small.  For each, list the following:
    1. How did I deal with this challenge
    2. What new tools or allies did I uncover that I could use in the future
    3. How did my life change because of this challenge (even if it’s not yet concluded, what would feel good from the challenge in the end)
12. What was my favorite moment of 2021? (Get in touch with the sights, smells, sounds, who was or wasn’t there, what was I doing, what made it amazing?)
13. What were the gifts from 2021? What really stands out and mattered to me?
14. Is there anything from 2021 that I need to still let go of, say goodbye to or forgive myself (or someone else for) or just need to empty onto the page?

Summarize 2021 in 3 words

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OPENING TO THE STORY YET TO BE WRITTEN FOR 2022

1. What am I looking forward to in 2022?
2. What am I feeling apprehensive about for the year ahead?
3. What life lessons am I taking into 2022?
4. What area of my life do I most want to develop in 2022?
5. What part of myself do I long to nurture in 2022?
6. Fast forward to December 2022.  I’m sitting in a café, musing over the last 12 months, where do I want to be …
   1. … in my work and wealth
   2. … in my relationships
   3. … in my free time and my sense of meaning
   4. … in my body and my home
7. 3 unhelpful beliefs I’m ready to release
8. 3 duties or commitments I’m ready to let go of
9. 3 interests, skills or hobbies I’d like to learn or improve
10. 3 things about myself I positively love
11. 3 ways I could be kinder to my body this year
12. 3 dreams to bring to life this year (personal or professional)
13. How can I bring more of a sense of calm and grounding into my life this year?
14. My secret wish for 2022 is …

My Blueprint for 2022:

This year will be the year I finally ….

I will nourish myself with …

I will make more time for …

I will recharge my batteries by …

I will open my heart to …

I will pay more attention to …

I will learn more about …

I will release my attachment to …

I will say no to …

I will say yes to …

And, because of this, in 2021, I will feel …

I fully believe in the possibilities that await me in 2021 and all that it holds for me.

Signed: _______________

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