Things To
Think About
Things to Think About
Slaying the Emotional Dragons Lurking Inside Every Family Business
Once Upon A Time … there was a handsome young prince who married a lovely brunette actress … *** It sounds like the beginning to a beautiful story. Yet, when Prince Harry announced that he was stepping down from royal life, the world seemed shocked. So did the Royal family and their advisors. But, should...
Grief, Loss, and Owners on the Brink
Even in the best of times, the moment the illusion of our perfectly laid plans comes crashing down, we’re likely to feel an unexpected and sudden sense of loss. Even more so, now, for business owners who are being flailed by such uncertainty and the repeated stripping away of even a fleeting sense of control....
Where in the World Have You Been Lately?
“Where in the world have you been?!” Gerry asked me. “I’ve missed hearing from you and was worried somehow I got dropped off your newsletter list.” Where have I been? The same place we’ve all been – at home! But, I’ve been in another place, too. A more introspective space, trying to make sense of all that is...
Let Your Empathy Be Contagious
I spend my days keeping people and deals from falling apart. Right now, as I watch the coronavirus pandemic march across communities with all of its uncertainty, I’m struck by how similar this dynamic is to what I see playing out in deals every day. It reminds me that one of the best tools to ease that panic is...
Turning the Page
For those of you who have been around for a while, you know that December is when I press pause and allow the fast-paced holiday season to run its course. It's also a time when I create space for reflection and to connect with the people who are important to me, as I encourage you to do, too. On a scale of 1 to...
The Thread & The Throughline
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among things that change. But it doesn’t change. People wonder about what you are pursuing. You have to explain about the thread. But it is hard for others to see. While you hold it you can’t get lost. Tragedies happen; people get hurt or die; and you suffer and get...
Will You Know When It’s Time?
“Now just feels like the right time,” said Steve Croft (age 73) on Sunday as he announced his retirement after 30 years at the CBS News show 60 Minutes. He said he’d been considering when to retire at the end of each of the past four seasons and knew it was finally time. Hearing him say that he wanted to leave...
Permission To Care
He told me, “Sometimes I just feel so lonely. Lost, in fact. Where did my friends go? I guess I just let work and family take up so much space that I’ve ended up feeling like a stranger in a strange land. I miss that I don’t have a universe of close men in my life. The worst part is feeling myself stuck in solitude...
Building Your Courage Muscles
I was talking to my massage therapist the other night about a workshop called Courageous Choices that I led recently for a group of senior executives. I was preparing them to exit their companies and discover a legacy beyond just money. Helping people make courageous choices is at the heart of what I do as a...
Taking Back Your Life
Have you ever been to a restaurant with a sushi train? It’s a revolving conveyor belt that snakes through the restaurant loaded with little plates of sushi. Diners choose directly from the sushi-go-round the nibbles that appeal to them. Like at a dim sum restaurant, the plates are color-coded by price. At...
The Unexpected Danger of Putting a Call on Hold
“Denise, there’s a call on line 1 for you. He wouldn’t give me his name and said ‘you’d know what he was calling about’.” “Can’t you see I have my Do Not Disturb light on?” I replied. “Tell whoever it is I’m busy and I’ll call him back later.” My assistant responded that the caller said he would hold until I was...
Integrity at Work
INTEGRITY AT WORK … Do Your People Care? No, REALLY, Care? For two days, I’ve been trying to catch a little stray dog in my neighborhood without success. I’ve enlisted neighbors and tried to engage passing motorists to help as this scraggly little brown dog would dart away from me toward the traffic on a busy main...
Can This Deal Be Saved? The Art of Asking “What Matters?”
Last week I was talking with a banker about how to save a deal of his that was spiraling out of control. It seemed the Seller had become less and less responsive over the past several weeks and then, suddenly, threw up a wacky deal term out of nowhere that threatened to kill the deal. The entire deal team was left...
The Power of Revealing Who You Are and What You Want
“Finally. At least now I don’t have to go on pretending anymore that it’s really what I wanted to be doing. Now I can finally do what I WANT to do.” That’s what my client Lon said after his business collapsed. I wasn’t surprised that, after the initial shock wore off, what he felt was relief. Pretending...
The Legacy Dinner
The Legacy Dinner is a small curated dinner & discussion experience exploring the topic of What Constitutes a Lasting Legacy? It is an informal gathering, along the lines of a Jeffersonian-style dinner. For each event, I’ve chosen a variety of people I know who I think are open to discussion and would each bring...
Is Money Your Security Blanket?
In many of Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic strips, Linus' security blanket is prominently featured. Linus loves his blanket, carries it everywhere, often while sucking his thumb, and is not embarrassed by it. He cannot survive without it and really suffers when it is being washed. However, in...
A Life in Focus
"To be honest, it's a blur," Jeff told me. We were trying to discern the vision he might have had for his life before it ran amok. I had asked him to tell me what he could remember as the highlights of his life from the past year off the top of his head (without looking at his calendar). It took the better part of an...
Reflective Questions to Contemplate as You Turn the Page
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS TO CONTEMPLATE AS YOU TURN THE PAGE *** CLOSING THE BOOK ON 2019 What did I embrace in 2019? What did I let go of in 2019? What changed for me in 2019? What did I discover about myself in 2019? What was I most grateful for in 2019? When did fear hold me back in 2019? Where did I demonstrate...
The Antidote to Burnout – It Isn’t What You Think It Is
"I'm burned out," Mitch told me. "Work shouldn't suck this much." "How much SHOULD it suck?" I asked him. I suggested he check out this humorous video about careers and burnout . It would be funnier if you didn't see yourself in it, right now. Children dream about their futures, they imagine things they can do to...
X Marks the Spot
"I want to leave my mark on this world - something that really shows I was here!" Gary tells me. That's not uncommon. The desire to leave our mark, to show we were here - that we mattered - is nearly universal. So, I ask him, "What would be a meaningful marker to you?" For some people, it's having their name on a...
Something Worth Standing For
This week, conversations with clients have often veered into their views on the controversy surrounding NFL players "taking a knee" while the national anthem is being played. I'm less concerned whether they think the players should or shouldn't be doing it, or whether they think the President should or shouldn't be...
What Harvey Can Teach Us About ROI, Benchmarks and Metrics for Investing When Tragedy Strikes
The callous use of a common phrase in someone else's blog on Tuesday shocked me. The writer used the common acronym "ROI". But he couched it as "Relief on Investment" in describing how to choose a charity to support victims of Tropical Storm Harvey, which has just devastated south Texas. My anger flared. How the...
Whaddyado?
"What do you do?" a man at the cocktail party asks me, glancing at my name tag. Those four simple words and the answer they elicit could be a doorway into a meaningful conversation. "About what?" I want to reply, but I know that isn't the question he thinks he is asking me. My thoughts were already falling back...
7 Reasons Why You’re Not Doing Work You Love (and why it almost certainly guarantees a lousy retirement is in your future)
You don't owe anyone an explanation. But, here are seven likely reasons why you're unhappy at work and how it's probably going to carry over into your retirement, too. Why can some people easily find work they love while others (like yourself) remain eternally doomed to work that sucks them dry? In the past seven...
HOW TO BE IMPORTANT
"This could be my chance. I mean the REALLY BIG BREAK I've waited my whole life for" David told me. A new firm was wooing him hard, promising to double the salary he was making and give him the responsibility and recognition he had been craving in his current firm. Everyone he talked to about the offer was urging...